5 Reasons Why I like Deaf events

I go to Deaf events fairly often. I go to an evening Deaf Bible study, I go to Deaf mall, and a Deaf event at a coffee shop. I work with other Deaf in a school program, subbing for paraeducators with the Deaf and Hard of Hearing. And that's on top of having an ASL class two nights a week, and volunteering as voice cop, sometimes. There are weeks when I use more ASL than I use English.

But Deaf events really stand out as one of the highlights of my week. And here's why:

1. Everyone signs.
They're Deaf, it's kind of a "duh" in this case. However, hearing people don't really get how important that is for someone who is Deaf, Half Deaf, or Hard of Hearing. To most hearing people, it's just another social event, but for us? It's so much more than that.

Being Deaf, Half Deaf, or Hard of Hearing, in most conversations we have, we rely heavily on trying to figure out what a person's lips are saying, combining that with whatever body language they're using, and whatever hearing we do still have. It makes your average conversation a very tense and stressful situation, because I could be nodding my head and smiling to you saying your Dad got in a car accident; which is the exact opposite reaction I should be having. Not only that, but most social events involve groups, and once you have more than two people in a conversation, the whole conversation just disappears into the crowd. 

At a Deaf event, you don't have to hear. In fact, most don't if you go to a Deaf den. Instead of relying on our hearing, or lack thereof, we rely on our vision, which in most cases, is really good. Deaf tend to have very good vision and typically better than average peripheral vision. There are, of course exceptions. But to be in a conversation where we get to use our strongest sense is such a relief.

2. They get us.

When I tell a normal hearing person about how hard it is to talk with another person in English, or about the dumb things hearing people sometimes do or say to me, they don't get it. They just don't. They don't get why it's so frustrating to have someone ask if you're really Deaf. They don't get how it feels to be continuously left out because you can't hear, or how insulting it is to be told that it's rude to sign when other people can't understand you. I tell your average hearing person, and they just ask me why I don't get a CI to fix it; which brings a whole host of problems itself. You can see my thoughts on THAT topic HERE.

But, on the flip side, if I tell a Deaf person how frustrating it is to interact with ASL students who want me to entertain them and carry the conversation, they'll get it and sympathize. If I tell them how lonely I feel at a hearing social event, or how I stood up for my right to use sign language, they'll share their own stories of their struggles. 

3. They have ideas for how to deal with situations 

Deaf or Hard of hearing all share one thing in common; we really can't hear, or at least struggle to hear. Which means that in a hearing world, where everyone is saturated in sound, we do have some struggles, mostly those involving interactions with other people. By talking with other Deaf, we can get advice on how to deal with family situations if our family is hearing, on how to deal with rights violations, and other really important topics that most hearing people are ignorant about, because they don't have to deal with it. I have the right to use ASL. I have the right to reasonable accommodation. I can get help from various organizations. And there are Deaf who can give me a better deal on things than hearing, because we share the same community. Which leads me to the next one:

4. Networking and sharing information

Deaf love networking and sharing information about how to get thing done and they're really good at it. In Deaf culture, if you withhold information, and someone else suffers because if it, their suffering is your responsibility, because you didn't tell them what could have helped them. And because of that, they are good at connecting Deaf to other Deaf who are good at certain jobs, like mechanics, or electricians, or different job positions that they know are available. They are also very good at telling you where to get good deals.

To compare hearing and Deaf culture, here's an example: in hearing culture, if someone says to you, "That's a nice shirt you have. I like it!" your typical response is to merely say "thank you," and move on. In Deaf culture, however, they will tell you where they bought it, how much it cost, and if they've since found a better place to buy it, or multiple places to buy it. 

5. We actually get to meet other Deaf

That seems like a no-brainer, but I can tell you, I almost never see other Deaf outside of a Deaf event. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've seen other Deaf outside of a Deaf event or outside of my job which actively works with Deaf students and Deaf teachers/paraeducators. To put that in context, in the past two years of growing closer to the Deaf community, I've seen Deaf out side of a Deaf event or Deaf social setting less than five times. That's how rare that is. 

Not only that, Deaf don't carry a sign around with them that says, "Hey, I'm Deaf!" No. Even if we meet another Deaf whom we haven't met before, unless we see them using ASL, we could pass them on the street and never know that they were Deaf like us. So we don't even know all the Deaf in our area, UNLESS we meet them first at a Deaf event or in a Deaf social setting. 

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And there you have it; 5 reasons why I like Deaf events. 

Good things people can do around Deaf

I had a good day a while back, when two people were fantastically patient with me! It was marvelous!

See, when I'm out in public, unless it's very quiet around me or I know the person I'm talking to, I generally don't speak very much. I typically just sign, because I'm tired of saying "what?" over and over again. After a while, you start losing the other person's interest if you say "what?" too many times. If I do speak, I tend to sign at the same time. It helps other people be more patient with me.

But I had two experiences that stood out from the myriads of other difficult conversations. The first was at Safeway. I had gone to the checkout to buy something, and the cashier said something to her coworker, but I missed it. I signed and voiced, asking her what she had said. Her response was to apologize, because she didn't know I had been lip-reading her. She then told me that she had been teasing her coworker, and then proceeded to speak clearly and directly to me, without being condescending. (You Deafies know what I'm talking about. People over-emphasizing their facial expressions to  try to "help" you understand them, and they typically end up contorting their faces into unreadable expressions.) I left a note for her manager, saying what an awesome worker he had.

Then, on the bus ride home from work there was a man sitting across from me listening to his phone. What he didn't know was that his camera light was on, so I signed to him that his light was, indeed, on. He then proceeded to sign, "thank you." I then signed to ask him what he was listening to, and he showed me on his phone. A few stops later, he moved across the aisle to sit next to me and started typing notes to me on his phone, and I did the same. And for the rest of the ride home we talked about music, jobs, deafness (he's going deaf), and other things. It was so cool! He actually made the effort to chat with me about things when I was obviously not going to be able to hear him. That never happens! (And no, he was not interested in dating me. He was WAAAAAY older than me. I just have a funny face that makes people open up more to me.)

And that, my dear readers, is how you make a Deafie's day. Hooray!I dealt with other people that day who were completely ignorant, too, but let's not focus on the negative. I met two really awesome people, and it really made my day.