Trouble with Hearing People on Singing

So, I'm known at my college for singing, pretty much anywhere I go. It's just what I do. I do it to relax, I do it for fun, (I do it to show off, naughty me), and I do it because of the awesome acoustics the buildings have.  It's just something that I've done for years. The staff actually seem to enjoy it and it's fun.

The trouble comes in when people don't believe me when I say I am partially Deaf. They think I'm kidding. They don't understand that I will probably be able to hear myself longer than I will be able to hear them, and as I long as I can hear my own voice echoing through my bones into my ears, I will probably be able to still sing pretty well.

Now, the actual singing is pretty easy. The trouble comes in when someone introduces me to another person, or someone approaches me, and I can't hear them. It can get a little awkward.

Here's a perfect example:
Lady: "This is Kiwi. She has an amazing voice!" {Not my words, her words.]
Gent: "Oh, wow! Cool! Wejfdj.....[I can't understand him]."
Me: "Um, could you speak up? I'm half deaf."
Gent: "hahaha...Right!"
Me: "No...I'm literally..half deaf."
Gent: "Oh...." [He looks away and awkwardly ends the conversation.}

This actually isn't too uncommon. I say I'm half deaf or I can't hear them, and they think I'm joking. For me, this generally isn't too awkward unless I can't get them to speak up. However, for hearing people, this just seems to be a major conversation stopper. It's kind of like:
"Hey, I'm Deaf! I can't hear you! Please speak up!"
"Oh...hey...Deaf. ok. Um, oh, look at the time! I gotta go."

Why does being Deaf have to end a conversation? I can still hear a lot of things, I just need you to speak up. Don't walk away. This isn't awkward unless you make it be. I guess it just gets to me. It feels like, a minute ago I was just another gal who could apparently sing, and now it's as if I'm not even worth the effort to simply raise your voice and repeat yourself. I feel snubbed.

How to get the attention of the Deaf without startling them

One of the big questions people have when they first meet a Deaf person is, how do you get their attention if they're not looking at you? With hearing people you can just clear your throat and they'll look up. But with a Deaf you could literally shout and they'll just keep doing what they were doing. They can't hear you, so how do you get their attention?

Well, what you don't do is you don't toss something at the back of their head to get their attention. No. Definitely don't do that. And don't run and suddenly grab them, because you might scare them, and you might get a very bad reaction. If someone ran up to me and grabbed me, I would probably shriek in fear and probably try to beat them off with the nearest thing I could reach. Definitely not a good way to get their attention. 

So, how DO you get a Deaf's attention? Well, here's how: 

If you're in front of them, and they're looking down, you put your hand just into their range of vision and gently wave up and down. Not right in front of their eyes, mind you. Just just right in their peripheral vision where they can catch the motion. So, say they're reading, you put your hand to the side of their book and waggle it up and down. You don't cover what they're doing, but you're getting their attention. 

If you're behind them, you gently come up and tap their shoulder twice. Twice is important, because one tap they'll think is just a bump, and three or more times signals that there's something urgent that needs their attention now, like a fire.

If you're in a crowded room, you either wave across the room, high enough for them to see, or you ask someone near them to tap them twice and point to you. 

Basically, keep calm and don't startle them.  

Computers and those Blasted pop-up ads

Most people know the irritation of having multiple tabs open on the computer, and suddenly, something starts playing on one. Then you have to start clicking through your tabs, going, nope, not that one. Nope. Nope. Nope. OH! THERE! BYEEE!

Now, when you can't hear very well on one side, or can't hear at all one side, you don't always know it's actually the computer. This is because without having two ears that hear well, you can't pinpoint very well where the sound comes from. If it's loud enough and a constant sound, you can possibly find it by wagging your head back and forth, using how loud it is in certain directions to help you find out where it is. (Louder....louder...lou...no, no, quieter...back that way. Louder...louder...louder...THERE it is.) This can actually take a while. But what if an advertisement pops up and it's not a sound you can easily follow? Well, basically, you gotta search the house to make sure it's not the computer, and then come back to the computer and smack yourself in the head for not figuring it out sooner. 

Technology is definitely interesting when you can only hear part of it. I will freely admit that.

"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" (story)

The story of how we discovered I was unilaterally Deaf was actually pretty funny. I was with my family at Church. During a quiet pause in the service I guess I was misbehaving or something, so Mum leaned over to whisper something into my Deaf ear, and I piped up in my high-pitched , lil' 9 year old voice and hollered ,"WHAT? I can't hear you!"...Did I mention that the room was silent at that moment? Oh, yes, and Mum wanted to sink right through the floor.

TADA! There you go! There's why I did things a little differently! I was unilaterally Deaf! Still am, now that I think about it.

Anyhow, it was actually pretty funny. You see, when I was a lil' gal, they didn't do single ear hearing tests. They tested both ears at the same time. Back then I had really good hearing in my right ear, so I just slipped under the radar. Mum and my grandmother suspected hearing loss, but no one really thought to consider that I could be Deaf in only one ear. It's not something most folks consider. Most people think that the only options are profound Deafness (stone Deaf), Hard of Hearing in both ears, or just hearing. So we didn't figure out that I was Deaf on one side until I was 9.

The Invisible Difference

When you're unilaterally Deaf,  sometimes you can get some really odd thoughts about your Deaf ear. In my case, sometimes I look at my Deaf ear and think,  "Why do we even HAVE that ear?" It's kinda like a disco ball in a car. It looks nice, but really, it serves no legitimate purpose other than something to hang stuff from, or to keep my sunglasses from falling off my face.
Maybe I could use it for party gags. See who can shout loud enough to make me flinch. Winner gets coffee. I'd win. every. single. time.

But in all seriousness, though, there are difficulties to being Hard of Hearing or Deaf. You see, you can't tell when someone's Deaf or Hard of Hearing just by looking at them. We don't have signs that say we can't hear, and there's no outward physical difference between us and other people. This can make it difficult at times because sometimes people don't believe you that you're Deaf or Hard of Hearing. This can lead to some stressful situations, because people think you're lying to get attention, or to pull a prank. Sometimes people say things like, "Well, you don't look Deaf," or "You don't look Hard of Hearing." Well, no, we don't...we're still human and that doesn't change with whether or not we hear.

This is especially true for post-lingual Deaf or Hard of Hearing. Post lingual means that you became Deaf or Hard of Hearing after you had learned how to speak. You see, not all Deaf or Hard of Hearing were born Deaf or Hard of Hearing, but instead, become so later in life. The clearer your speech, the less likely you are to be believed about your being Deaf or Hard of Hearing.

I grew up with kids constantly asking me, "Are you really Deaf in one ear?  Can you really not hear out of it?" And, oh, I so badly wanted to say, "No, I lied. I just wanted you to keep pestering me about whether or not I was Deaf in that ear." Even as an adult, when I tell people that I'm Deaf in one ear, I get people who doubt me. That's actually part of the reason why I got hearing aids (the other part being that they are, actually, quite useful for conversations, if you hadn't guessed that). If you take a hearing aid out of your ear and show it to them, most people will be convinced that you're not lying. It can get old, and for the person who really isn't lying, it can be very stressful.

So if you come across someone who says they're Deaf or Hard of Hearing, please do them the courtesy of believing them. Most people who say they can't hear you aren't lying and your believing them will be a wonderful blessing.

Unilateral Deafness vs. Snoring

I'm unilaterally Deaf. It means that one of my ears works about as well as a politician's promise. You could SHOUT in that ear and it wouldn't hurt a bit. It might stink if you have bad breath...but it wouldn't hurt that ear.

Now, this has some advantages. One of them is slumber  parties. If you can hear, you probably know what it's like to discover at a sleepover that this awesome friend of yours actually snores. And it's not a quiet snore. No, it's more like a grizzly-bear-with-a-cold type of snoring. What do you do?

For most people, it's generally earplugs, a pillow on top of your head, or a sleepless night. For the unilaterally Deaf, heehee, we just roll over onto our good side, press that good ear into the pillow, and the snoring either fades into the background, or we simply can't hear it. Nice, huh? Of course, if WE snore, our friends generally aren't as lucky.

What is Deaf or Hard of Hearing on an audiogram? Pt. 2. Hz

Now, the second part of your audiogram is the Hz part, which stands for Hertz, which you should find along the top or bottom of your audiogram. Along side the Hz, you might find the word "frequency." This refers to pitch, and is how high or low a pitch is. Last time I briefly said that the lower a Hz number is, the lower pitch, while the higher a Hz number is, the higher the pitch. These numbers/sounds on the graph are arranged lowest to highest, from left to right, like a piano.

In case you don't remember the audiogram from last time:

Now, this audiogram is different from mine on the hertz scale in that it's slightly longer than mine. The one my tests are done on only goes down to slightly below 250Hz, while this one goes down to about 75Hz, and mine are only tested slightly above 8000Hz, while this one goes probably up to 16000Hz. However, the concept is still the same.

What might surprise you, is that the frequencies audiologists test you on are actually based on musical notes. Here's an actual online program from The University of New South Wales (it's in Australia, for those of you who aren't familiar with geography) which actually converts Hertz to music notes. Hz to Music notes

I've gone ahead and made a list of the ones on this test their corresponding notes to save you the time.
75Hz = Approximately D2 (second D below middle C)
250Hz=Approximately D3 (first D below middle C)
500Hz=Approximately B4 (B just after middle C)
1000Hz=Approximately B5 (B next octave up from middle C)
2000Hz=Approximately B6 (B two octaves above middle C)
4000Hz=Approximately B7 (B three octaves above middle C)
8000HZ=Approximately B8 (B four octaves above middle C)


Now, for the musically challenged, here's an easier list:

This is from the Northeast Deaf and Hard of Hearing Services in New Hampshire (see Bibliography.) Sorry it's so juvenile looking. It's the only thing I could find after multiple searches. Not wholly scientific, but it's to help give you an idea of what sounds are at what frequencies.

Now, an average audiogram for a hearing person would look something like this:

Now, ignoring the symbols, the different colors stand for different ears. To understand this audiogram, you'd look at the Hz, or frequency, and then match it to the dB where the circle is. That is the indication of the quietest you can hear at the pitch. So this person can hear 250Hz at 0dB in one ear, and 250Hz at about 5dB in the other ear. That means they can hear really quiet low sounds. If you use that same method across the board, you'll have a pretty good idea of what your hearing test is saying.

Cheers!

References

Babyhearing.org, (2015). [online] Available at: http://www.babyhearing.org/images/HearingAmp/HearLoss/normal.gif [Accessed 9 Jan. 2015].

Hearinglink.org, (2015). [online] Available at: http://www.hearinglink.org/image/audiograms---general-use/Audiogram-800.jpg [Accessed 9 Jan. 2015].

Nhdeafhhed.org, (2015). [online] Available at: http://www.nhdeafhhed.org/images/M_images/07_audiogram.gif [Accessed 9 Jan. 2015].