Monday, January 18, 2016

Deaf children: Hearing world vs Deaf world

When my parents found out I was Deaf, there was a level of devastation and a level of denial that happened. In fact, I think there is still some denial, since I speak so well. My grandparents struggled with it, too, and still do. For a hearing family. a Deaf child is a tragedy. A broken child. One you struggle to connect with; a problem child.

Most hearing parents are devastated when they find out their child is Deaf. They go through the stages of grief. They try pretending nothing is wrong, and only a small number actually take steps to reach their child on the child's level, with sign language. Many, however, try to make their child "normal," by working on their speech and lip reading. And they continue grieving. A Deaf child is a tragedy in the hearing world.

But in the Deaf world, a Deaf child is a treasure. Deaf parents love both hearing and Deaf children, but their Deaf child has a special connection with them, because that child is part of the history and culture of the Deaf. It is that child's birthright. They can connect with their parents, their parents understand their struggles. They share a common bond. And when Deaf parents have a Deaf child, they celebrate. Here is a child that they can give all that they never had growing up but truly needed to help them grow and mature. Here is a child that can take a place in the heritage of the Deaf who have gone before them, and move forward with the Deaf into the future. To the Deaf, a hearing child is a dream come true.

Yes, Deaf will always love their hearing children. But there are things that hearing children go through that Deaf can't protect them from. Words are said that the Deaf parents can't hear but the children do. Things happen that the Deaf don't know about, but their hearing child does know about. And because we live in a society saturated in sound, it is harder to protect what our hearing children hear, than what our Deaf children see. Because we cannot hear what they hear, we cannot stop them from hearing what should not hear. But Deaf children our different; all that they have access to, we can access as well, and we can guard them against things that would hurt them. For us, Deaf children are treasured children, and very rare for us to have. Approximately 90% of Deaf children are born into hearing families. That means only 10% get to grow up in a Deaf home, with Deaf parents and Deaf siblings. And thus, not only are they treasured, but they are rare. 

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