Deaf Community Vs. Hearing Community: Maybe they don't have to be at war

I've said before that between the Deaf community and the hearing community, I'm in two cultures. It's a very difficult position to be in at times.

You might ask, why? Why is it difficult? You have both communities. You are generally accepted in both. Why is it hard?

It's hard because, while I am generally accepted in both, the two cultures aren't always accepting of each other as a place where they think that I should spend most of my time. And the norms in one culture are not always acceptable in another. And the strange thing is, both cultures are pulling at me to be fully immersed in them, with only a little time spent in the other.

For example, most Deaf don't live with their parents like I do. They leave to establish their independence and to help affirm their Deaf identity. In a few cases, they are almost totally separated from their families, because the lines of communication have dropped. And they don't understand why I still go to a hearing church, even though I'm establishing my Deaf identity in the Deaf community.

And part of my hearing family is afraid of 'resigning' me to the Deaf community, afraid that the Deaf community will hold me back. They're afraid of the unknown. They are afraid of the cultural differences. And they want to tie me to the hearing world, afraid that they will lose me.

This leaves me in an awkward place to stand. Both communities wish me to be tied to them, almost exclusively, ignoring the opposite communities. This leads to needing much wisdom for balancing these two very different cultures. 

I love my Deaf community. I truly do. They are amazing people. They are so welcoming, so friendly, and so ready to open up the doors of communication that are often so hard for me to open on my own. I love seeing sermons in ASL from my fantastic Deaf pastor, and seeing how they apply Scripture to their lives, and growing in my different relationships with the Deaf there. And my Deaf church is becoming a second family to me. But I also love my hearing community that doesn't quite understand me, but many of whom try their best to understand me. I love the fellowship with other believers at my church (when I can hear them), and sitting under the teaching of the godly pastor of my hearing church on Sundays. And I treasure sitting under the mentorship of the godly women in my hearing church. 

And I sit here with these two cultures, one in each hand, and I see that I have been given these communities from the hand of GOD. And though they war against each other, they are not mine from man, but mine from GOD. I have been put in this position for a purpose that I can't comprehend, but that GOD will use for HIS glory. And I am not willing that I should lose either. My personal life cannot be relegated solely to one or the other. I cannot say that I will only go to a Deaf church and Deaf social events, because I love the people in my hearing church who have become so precious to me. But neither can I ignore the fact that my Deaf community has so much to offer, and that it has become a community that is also very precious to me. It is a place where all my oddities that come from being Deaf, all my differences, are accepted and even reflected back to me by the other Deaf. It is a place with open access to me, where I'm not excluded, but am accepted with open arms (sometimes, quite literally).  It is where I share so many experiences with other Deaf, and am encouraged by them.

But how do I tell both sides that I can't let go of either of them? Some understand, but others cannot comprehend this delicate balancing act. And switching between the cultural norms is really, truly hard. Some things that are not appropriate in hearing culture are fully accepted in Deaf culture, but in Deaf culture there are things that are that are not appropriate that are commonplace in hearing culture. And as I enjoy the precious treasures of both cultures, I also feel the strain of having to change my behavior to fit the norms of both cultures. Sometimes I don't succeed at fitting into the culture that I'm in and it can turn out quite badly.

In the end, it is truly a struggle, but the cost is worth having so many precious people in my life. And sometimes it hurts when these people don't understand each other, and there is conflict with how they want me to view the other culture. But I gladly pay the price, because this is where I have been placed, and this is where I need to be. But I will always need prayer to walk this line, because it is far from easy.